New Element Discovered........Administratium

          A major research institution has recently announced
          the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
          science.  This new element has been tentatively
          named "Administratium". Administratium has 1
          neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
          and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
          atomic mass of 312.

          These 312 particles are held together by a force
          called 'morons,' which are surrounded by vast
          quantities of lepton-like particles called
          'peons'.Since Administratium has no electrons, it is
          inert.  However, it can easily be detected as it
          impedes every reaction with which it comes into
          contact.

          A minute amount of Administratium causes one
          reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it
          would normally take less than an hour.Administratium
          has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay
          but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a
          portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
          neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange
          places.

          In fact, Administratium's mass will actually
          increase over time, since each reorganization causes
          some morons to become neutrons forming 'isodopes'.
          This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
          scientists to
          speculate that Administratium is formed whenever
          morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

          This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
          "Critical Morass."You will know it when you see
          it...